To the Rude Guy in Apartment Five
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Synopsis
| author： | J. S. Cooper |
|---|---|
| readBy： | Laurie West |
| inLanguage： | english |
To the rude guy in apartment five,
I’m glad you’re happy to have moved into a new apartment, but no:
I do not want to have a beer with you.
I do not want to have a nude sleepover.
I do not want to make you breakfast, lunch or dinner, no matter how many lap dances you promise to give me.
I do not need you to serenade me through the walls at 1am.
And no, I have no interest in letting you take me on a date.
Sincerely,
Magnolia Allen
P.S. And no, I do not want to know how many accents you can growl in during intimate moments. How is that even a thing?
P. P. S. Also, you will never find me standing naked in your living room ever again, so please stop leaving lingerie packages on my welcome mat.
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J. S. Cooper
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